So, due to the fact that this crazy pandemic is going on, I haven’t been able to go anywhere or do my usual people watching like I do. Which leads to a very boring time watching Netflix and wandering around my home like a ghost, bumping into things and groaning.

Fortunately, this neighborhood I’ve moved into has a lot of…interesting characters to say the least. Don’t worry this blog will not forever be a neighborhood watch blog, but for now just sort of enjoy yourselves while I entertain myself with some…half-truths and story telling.

—

So today I decided it would be fun to walk the dog around the neighborhood. For whatever reason, be it my personality, my astrological sign, the fact that my dog is adorable, I don’t know what it is, but I can’t help but have a conversation EVERYTIME I go out anywhere. I’ve tried taking different paths, going at different times, doesn’t matter someone is opening up to me about something.

On this super fun little walk, I bump into a guy who is searching for something, ‘pretty weird’ I think to myself but for once I’m going to kick up the conversation just to find out what’s going on in that strange little head of his. He has a book in his hand, a notebook and pencil in the other and his camera around his neck.

Now I know, my mind is in the gutter, but every “bird-watcher” I see is really just a stalker with a carefully thought out excuse.

“Wat’cha doing there bud?” I ask as my dog sort of looks at him wearily, he’s very friendly so his discomfort sort of began throwing red flags, but I dug my own grave with this one.

“Bird watching.” He says unaware of the blaring red flags and sirens going off in my head.

“M…hm. Right. Don’t hear many birds around here. Unless you’re looking for ducks and cranes.” I try to lighten my tension, even though my head is screaming ‘STALKER STALKER STALKER’ in the voice of the computer from ‘Lost in Space’ “Danger Will Robinson”.

He makes brief small talk about how the birds just hide in the trees, I’m not particularly sure what he’s saying at this point maybe I’m just freaking myself out enough that I stopped listening immediately and started hoping Bandit (my dog) would start pulling me away from him. The gods heard my please and sure enough he caught the scent of something and began pulling me away from the man.