One of the unfortunate realities of having bad vision is that you chalk everything up to being a floater. That includes, and is not limited to things with odd movement patterns.

So when I saw something scurrying across my dashboard I ignored it. Figured it was nothing and continued my morning drive listening to my music.

While driving a bit further I notice the movement again.

This time closer to my face.

This time there was absolutely no denying it was a quarter sized brown spider scurrying around in a panic. Back and forth across my rear view mirror, dropping down on it’s string (I’m not sure what the web material is called) reconsidering it’s life choices and quickly scurrying back up.

It was so frantic in its movements it caught Bandit’s attention. He’s seen a lot of daddy long legs, where we live they thrive, but never anything like this one. He was at attention.

I let it be, what else am I going to do?

Continued my drive, this time prepared to record it with my phone camera open, of course with no luck on catching the little zoomy-afflicted stowaway.

Defeated, we arrived at our destination, and unloaded. Of course the little critter has caught my attention enough that I decided to do some research!

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Read no further if you have a particular fear of spiders, or are worried about the precarious position everyone’s favorite writer and her canine companion may have stumbled upon unwittingly.

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I waited until I arrived at my destination before deciding to research the spider it could’ve been.

I typed in “small brown spiders in Florida”

I call this research, with commentary.

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[Moving forward these photos are used for educational purposes these are not mine and all rights are reserved to whoever was brave enough to get that close to them. 10/10 to them.]

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7 responses populate:

I’m going to tell myself it’s not this one, because apparently it’s one of three spiders in the U.S. that have “medically significantly venom”.

0/10 on the Nope Scale.

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This one definitely wasn’t it, the one in my car wasn’t furry, if it was it might’ve thought Bandit was it’s kin. So I think we’d be safe?

These are lone wolves, they don’t spin their own webs instead they hunt their pray by chasing and pouncing on them.

The universe said “spiders do these three things” and this spider was like “none for me thanks.”

Also they’re venomous but it sounds more like an inconvenient and uncomfortable bite, not so much a life changing event.

-3/10 on the Nope scale, cause they’ll chase you and that’s creepy. Still not “the one”

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So far it’s a tie between the first one and this one on who might be the perp hanging around (get it!?).

Ok so I’m looking at what spiders this one is most similar too and I’ve discovered some names I’d like to share with you, scientists and their creativity knows no bounds:

1. Daddy long legs

2. Carpenter spider (we have the whole Village Spiders)

3. Daddy long legGER (now with 50% more legs?)

4. Vibrating spider

5. GYRATING SPIDER

6. Long daddy (they’ve got daddy issues I don’t have the time to unpack here)

7. Skull spider

They respond to threats by vibrating or wiggling (which may explain the zoomy like response, but it looks too thin to be the one in my car. Unless mine is just really, really well fed.

10/10 would prefer this one over the venomous surprise spiders above.

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I’m changing it’s name if it’s this one, a southern car spider. The traveling spider…I don’t know.

This one is another top runner, thicker legs, might mean it’s this one (or I’ve been staring at these photos so long they all are blurring together.)

These are also furry, they tend to build a web and hide in crevices. Though the makes for seem to be more reactive and crawl over everything, their bite can’t break skin though so if it’s this one. We’re in the clear (doubt it though).

9/10 on the Nope scale Creepy yet unrefined.

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Definitely not this one, the entire spider was brown , so this one for absolutely sure is not it, however if it was you’d know by the way I’d have left my car in the center of a field in a proper fumigation tent.

As far as venom potency, it is 2x worst than black window venom.

-15/10 on the Nope Scale, the universe is vast enough for a brown widow and I to never come into contact and live full and happy lives thaaaaanks.

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What did we learn?

Florida has a lot more types of spiders than I was aware of.

I have no interest in meeting any of them.

There’s a 60% chance that the spider inside my car is venomous.

If you’ve read this far you must really really like me! 😍 (or you really really like spiders…so 5/10 on your Nope scale)